This Is About Me

Hello Govenah!

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Sex is not a goddamn performance.

Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.

It should not require confidence.

Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.

Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.

You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.

It’s not about being “good in bed.”

It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.

What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.

Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.

Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.

I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.

I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.

It’s originality.

It’s passion.

It’s joy.

Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.

I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.

“Good in bed,” what.

You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.

Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.

This isn’t a test.

This sound good until rumors of incompetence get spread I Love This!!!!
(via ceedling)

(Source: nikolaiolivier, via str8nochaser)

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Currently…

Missing…The old me, All things Target, Chic Fil A, Cheese Cake Factory, Love & being in love

Dreaming…About success. I can feel that it’s close, whatever it is that i’m supposed to be doing & wherever it is that I’m supposed to be! One day…

Loving…My princess and the smiles she brings me everyday, no matter how frustrating it gets at times, or how hard it can be to do it all ALONE, she’s so worth it!

Laughing…At how funny life can be sometimes. You win some, you lose some and the rest you just have to let go & laugh about it so you don’t go crazy.

Wishing… That I could see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes, I guess it makes me stronger, but man it’s tough!

Filed under Currently Missing Loving Laughin ME One Day

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One Day

Maybe one day i’ll mean enough to someone so that they can miss my voice and want to spend all day with me. Maybe one day he won’t have to go home & I wont have to feel bad about asking questions. I won’t have to stick my lip out when it’s time to leave. Maybe i’ll be okay with him going somewhere because I’ll need a break. How do I love me, when the person/people who were supposed to teach me that don’t/never will. I walk around with a mask & nobody knows this but me & God.

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Confessions of a broken doll

I’ve been trying to find a new name for a new blog to start over in a way, but what the heck in the end it all goes together, they’re my thoughts and some days they’re good others they are super fucked up, but in the end they’re all me! I have quite a few things to get off my chest. Let’s begin with my father (yes I have daddy issues, no I don’t let them take over my life). I’ve been trying for 29 years to understand this man and to begin to comprehend why his money has always been more important than his family. I know my dad loves me and to a certain extent he has done what was required as a father, you know the whole roof over the head, food on the table, be present even if you’re not really present yada yada. The extra he definitley has not done. I always say it doesn’t bother me and i’m grown now so I should just accept who he is and move on, and in a way I have, but there are still things that bother me. Most recently the “Family Vacation”. My mom & dad have been divorced for over 10 years, he’s lived with another woman now for about 10 years, yeah do the math. Anyway, in my 29 years of life, we have never taken a family vacation with my dad, not even to the hotel down the street. I’m one of four kids and my mother and father, though no rich have been well off, especially my dad so it’s not because he couldnt’ afford it, but I feel like he felt that we weren’t worth it. My dad recently went to Florida on vacation with his girlfriend and her nephew who he’s raised from a baby. On father’s day he told me that he promised him a trip and this was it. How fucked up is that dad considering you’ve never taken us anywhere! I’m trying to understand you, but you are not making this easy. Maybe this is why I let men treat me like shit! I have the best example ever. Yeah i’m just full of confessions today!

Filed under Daddy Issues It won't break me Scarred